ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
