If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
