jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize