What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
