Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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