I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
