your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you made out with another girl for some wings
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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