Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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