oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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