Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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