So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am one with the molecules
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Someone signed my nipple.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize