He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
