On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
