Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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