just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
