so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
