We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
