i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
