Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
