While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
