I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
