Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
