New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
