She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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