I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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