Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
