chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
