girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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