my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
