PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
