Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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