Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Randomize
