Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
