And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
