im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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