Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
