Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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