went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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