she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
