They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
