When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
