"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
