You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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