everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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