I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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