Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
