look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize