Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
