id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
