ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
