in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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