i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
