You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have already put on my inside pants.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
