U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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