If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
