Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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