No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize