i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
