she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
