it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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