My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
