i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
