thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
