I need help removing her.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize