he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
