Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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