im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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