How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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