I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize