im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
