I just threw up on my dentist
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
wow bdsm is so cute
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
