From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
