Umm I'm too high to move.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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